In which my actions discount my beliefs

I have a busy life. Often too busy. For example, my gravatar: the image was taken at a baking party the day before the first day of the semester. That little celebration followed pre-church work, church, and my house-cleaning job. After the party, I rushed off to a business dinner, ran errands and did NOT get to bed early before my 9 am class.

I have 4 part-time jobs this semester. I’m on the board of a student organization. I nag my roommates about their responsibilities. I attend church. I run. I am a full-time student. I’m working on a number of post-graduation plans. I attend community events. I volunteer. I cook several times a week. I’m raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I visit my nieces and keep up a decent relationship with at least 4 of my immediate family members. I have approximately3 long-distance friends I contact on a monthly basis, another 8 I stay connected with on some level. I pray – hourly. I do not eat junk food. I do not read my bible often. I dance and party when I can. I know what’s going on in my city. I’m available when my friends need me, and constantly ask for girl-dates.

I do a lot. My friends and family are constantly asking me to slow down. Quit something. Rest. I don’t. I waste time. I waste too much time, it’s almost as if I want to prove I am not SO busy – I can waste time.

I usually feel like I’m behind. And sometimes I am.

Here’s the catch. It does not matter. In two years I will either be just as busy, or I will lead a quieter life. My value will not change. I am learning accomplishments do not matter. While accomplishing much, by the world’s standards. This phase of my life is ironic, I am constantly fighting the concept that I must accomplish much to have value, yet believing just the opposite, and yet – I have accomplished much. In such a state, it is hard to not just pat myself on the back and work harder. Instead, I am working NOT to soak it all in and be prideful.

 

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